Lust for life...

I've been home about a week, having completed my pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela.  I haven't written anything as of yet, mainly because I'm still trying to process just exactly what it is I've done.  Sure, I know I crossed the entire country of Spain by foot, via France, about 800 km's.  I've climbed and descended a couple of mountains.  I've had knee injuries, self diagnosed tendonitis, blisters of mammoth proportions, and developed a fierce relationship to any wine from the Rioja region.  I awoke daily, not really knowing where I was, but that only I knew I was to walk.  I didn't really know where it was I was going, how many kilometers I would cover, or what town I would spend that night.  I only knew that I would head west, toward the all consuming goal to reach Santiago.  It became quite comforting to be so focused.  A determination or will  that I've never recognized in myself.  And I think I've just now come to the realization that this determination has been here all along, in me.  Why it took a 37 day walk across Spain to see this, I have no idea.  Maybe it was the countless hours I've spent just looking, thinking, being aware of the present.  Certainly trying not to ponder the past, nor to plan for the future, but rather, just to BE.  I thought (pre Camino) that cancer was the toughest thing I had gone through, but I now know I was wrong.  My pilgrimage by far was the most toughest complicated  thing I've ever accomplished in my life... hands down... no contest.  And I think the reason I was able to complete this goal of mine, is because of the people who I met along the way.  These amazing people that are soooo different from me, and yet so similar.  These people that I will probably never see again, (although I certainly hope to) reminded me of what its like to enjoy life,  and to remind me that it's okay to not take life too seriously. I'm so grateful to have met these other pilgrims. Coming from countries such as Italy, France, Germany, Sweden, Switzerland, Palestine, Israel, USA, Australia, and of course Canada. In a lot of ways these people gave me just the right amount of encouragement to finish what I set out to do.
  So, will things go back to "normal", now that I'm home.  I hope not.  I hope I'm changed enough that this experience stays with me forever.  Enough that it reminds me what an incredible gift life really is, and to recognize that fact daily.... and to never take this "wonderful" world for granted.

So long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu,

Cannot sleep, so decided to post one last blog before I take off on Wednesday for my pilgrimage. This last week has been fairly busy, getting things in order.  And I'm still not ready.  My back pack is about 2 pounds heavier than it should be, so I'm kind of stressing about that.  I know 2 pounds doesn't sound like a lot, but trust me.... it is.  I guess when I get over there, and start walking, I will have an idea of what I can get rid of, what will seem unnecessary.  Right now, it all seems necessary.  I'm not even bringing any reading material!!! Very nervous about that, but I think for this journey it will be better to journal than to read. Plus, it forces myself to socialize more.   I've decided not to blog about my Camino, as Wifi service will certainly be unreliable... Instead, I plan to write about it when I get back.... Who knows... a book one day????? We will see.
I will be back in roughly 6 weeks (end of October)  I know it sounds like a long time, but really it isn't.  In the grande scheme of things, it really isn't.  There is cream in my fridge that will still be good when I return so....that idea puts things in perspective.
  Thank you to everyone who have been so supportive of my journey.  I'm not going to single any one person out, you know who you are.  It means so much to me that you all have taken such a keen interest in this little endeavor of mine.  I will be thinking about you all ( one thing I will have is plenty of time to think).  Please feel free to message me, as unfortunately I will have my cell phone with me.  Practicality dictates my bringing one.  Text me with any random  thoughts (519 566 9555)

Hasta Luego

Good Evening... from Small Wonders

To tiptoe...

Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.  Tiptoe if you must, but take your step~  unknown

My Pilgrimage... My Way

THE WAY

I wanted to give all my "peeps" an idea of what my pilgrimage is all about.  If you watch the above link, you will have a little bit of info as to what the" Camino" is.  I cannot wait to get over there.  I will be there in three weeks time!

September 11 is the day I chose to embark on this journey...

Good Evening... from Small Wonders

Last Treatment Y'all!!!!

So... it is the Eve of my last Chemo and I have to say I'm pretty geeked to get these things done and over
with.  The sooner they're done, the sooner I can start radiation, and THEN, I will be finished.  I've been pretty fortunate as far as being able to ride and show.  I've missed a few shows, but I've done a few as well, so I really can't complain.  Bella  and Roo have really taken care of me this season :)
I have to say this round has been incredibly difficult.  More so than what I was prepared for.  But I've had some amazing people by my side, throughout it all.  And I've had some people who should have been there, and they were not.  I'm not quite sure why that is, but I've also learned this time around that it's not for me to worry about these people.  As Paulo Coelho tells us "When God closes a door, he opens a window".
 
So, depending on how my scans go next week, I will be able to start planning my hike in Spain.  I can pick a date, book my fare, and start to train.  I should be gone for about 35 days all told.  Nervous, but more excited then anything really.  I hope to go late September, early October.  It's good to have long term goals, as it gives your life meaning, and to look forward to your future.  To step out of your comfort zone, and to be a little "unnerved".  To test yourself, to challenge yourself, and to meet people that you normally wouldn't ever consider socializing with.  That to me is what it means to "put yourself out there", and while I may not complete my task at hand, I won't ever know unless I try.

Good Evening, from Small Wonders

Slacker...

Okay, yes I have been slackin' a fair bit, as far as the blog is concerned. I just realized I haven't written anything since Feb 22.  But truth be told, I just haven't had the urge to post anything "trivial"  and let's face it, as of late, everything seems "trivial".  And then I realize that maybe sometimes living "trivial" is a good thing.  You  know, to not take things too serious (which anyone who knows me, knows I have a nasty habit of doing this).  So my latest goal is to try and be a little more "present" in my life.  To try and not think of things past, or things yet to happen.  By doing this, I hope to keep negativity at bay.  Easier said than done (FYI)

So.. tomorrow is a big day for me.  Treatment # 3 ( but the first full blown chemo) and yes,I am a little nervous about the whole thing.  I guess because I really don't know how I am going to feel.  I hope I can continue to ride, but not really certain how my back is going to be.  I rode Maya the other day, for the first time in two weeks, and she was awesome!  Such a classy girl!!

And I did something really rash.  I cut my hair REALLY short, and dyed it RED.  Like really really red!  I figure I'm only gonna have the hair for another few weeks, so why not?  I've gotten many compliments, and many stares.

Reading waaaaay toooo much lately too.  My eye sight is getting so bad.  I have to put my glasses on to see my phone!  You know you're getting old when.......  I started doing a little research on a hiking trail in Spain, that I would like to do in the fall (fingers crossed I will be able to go this fall)  It's called the "Santiago de Compostela"  or the "Camino".  This is a pilgrimage that has been walked by millions of people, dating back to medieval times.  It is roughly 800 kilometers that starts in France, and ends in Santiago, Spain.  Most people do this walk in 35 days (ish) and it is quite rigorous.  Everything you need for the month, you will carry on your back, and along the way you will stay at various "refugios" along the way.  (Various rustic forms of shelter, consisting of hostels, monasteries, nunneries, inns, etc)  For a few Euros you will get a bed in mostly dorm like settings, and sometimes a meal.  Not bad eh?  There are people who refuse to stay in said accommodations, preferring more comfortable hotels.  But to me, if you are going to do the pilgrimage,  you should live like a peasant, living simply.
 
The trail is names after St James (one of Jesus's deciples) and it is said that if you complete the hike, all your sins will be forgiven.  Strangely, though, most people are not catholic who do this walk.  Most do the "Camino" for other, spiritual reasons.  Some need a break from their chaotic lives, and need some time to think.  Some do it for a physical challenge.  So do it in hopes of meeting someone, maybe falling in love.  And some do it for a myriad of reasons.  

So... what am I doing in the mean time... I'm trying to learn a basic Spanish.  I am gonna take a class at the college next month.  I'm gonna start training, as by the time I go, I need to be in really really good shape.  In order to complete the pilgrimage in the 35 days, I have to average over 23 kilometers a day.  So I have been hitting the Green Way, and loggin some miles in my new hiking shoes ( Love them btw... and just discovered the wonder of the   R.E.I store , not too far from Somerset)  My next purchase is a back pack, which i will have to load some weight in there, and do some more miles.  So if you see some crazy lady with a back pack on the Green Way, no worries... it's just me!!

Good Day,
from Small Wonders